Jeff and Tara

I got married in August 2010 in San Francisco. In the time since “I Do,” I turned 30, grew my website (thanks, wacky SF public-transit), and celebrated a year of wedded bliss by overspending in Napa Valley. Sixteen months later, my dirty wedding dress is still hanging on a door in our apartment.

After not looking at our wedding photos for a bit, I couldn’t wait to see what the randomizer came up with.

Yeah, I dunno about this one. Excited face, for me, translates to either “mouth open” or “scrunchy face.” I do love bubbly, toasting, and that fella right there, so there is that.

Now pronounced husband and wife. We are trying way too hard not to fall down —  that’s at least what I’m doing. The floors were really shiny.

Groomsman Nick during toasts. Mr. T was in his wedding, and his wife designed our invitations. In sum, we love Nick, and he looks fabulous in his suit. We intended for toasts to be no pressure for our dads and bridal-party peeps, requesting beforehand to let us know if they planned on talking. Though this is probably the most boring part for everyone else, it was one of the most heartwarming parts of mine. I still think about our toasts somewhat regularly — tearing up on occasion — so I’m glad for this photo reminder.

Oh my gah, the Tacos’ wedding photo booth. This pic was in my photo-booth recap, and it still makes me smile. Speaking of things that make me smile, say hello to the balcony-lounge beanbag chairs off to the left; I wish I could’ve taken one home.

Bridesmaid J, who doubled as pastry chef, as the ladies get dolled up that morning. I’m not sure if she’s looking at me, but I’ll definitely be looking at her like this on her wedding day.

Our three rings outside our venue, a cousin of a pic from my wedding details recap. I like the texture in this one.

Here, the groom is taking a break from the dance floor. Little did he know he’d get, like, three lap dances this way (from men and women).

The guestbook and my DIY projects: 1) wrapping floral tape and feathers around regular pens, and 2) Putting computer printouts (guestbook instructions) in a frame. Watch out, Martha Stewart. The photo-booth pictures were later placed near their corresponding signatures.

The Soul Train line kicked so much ass. There’s a version of this pic in my Just Dance recap. Look at all the happy!

Get. Down. Everyone in this photo is singing along and I freakin’ love it and them.

At the end of this exercise, especially if you have doubts, you should feel like a million bucks over the best damned day there ever were. Like I always say, your favorite wedding should be your own.

Next, I promise to finish my Taco honeymoon recaps! Follow along with Athens leg of the honeymoon (including links to everything before that), and check out the rest of the Tacos’ Supreme day.

All photos in this post by Ashley Forrette Photography.

~~~

Follow along with the #WBRandomizer series, and learn how to participate here!

I wasn’t sure I wanted to write a budget recap for a few reasons. I wondered if it wasn’t that helpful — like it would only placate gawkers — and I worried people would crash my party of good intentions with barrels of haterade.

But I got over it, for a few other reasons. We don’t all wear a white dress, have flowers, booze, a sit-down reception, or a bridal party. But everyone who has a wedding has a budget. However large or small your shindig, it is impossible to budget and prioritize if you don’t know what things cost. Especially in the spendy Yay Area.

First off:

• Our budget was $30K on the high end at the start of planning. We spent in the neighborhood of $37K — and had ~160 guests — once all was said and done.
• An SFGate blog post indicated the average San Francisco wedding was $45K.
• My MIL/FIL contributed 4 percent; Mr. T and I paid for the rest.
• This does not include: rehearsal dinner/drinks, next day brunch — both of which were paid for by my MIL/FIL — honeymoon expenses, or my engagement ring.
• These are good ballparks, not exact figures.
• I did not account for a few craft expenses, or taking friendors out for a casual dinner/drinks while we talked details.

So, here it is, from most expensive to least.

Catering: Miraglia Catering

Cost: $17,000

• We learned almost immediately that caterers outside of the city were significantly more affordable. We also didn’t see any need to stay in-city if we liked the food, and if the company had experience with our tricky venue.
• Dinner was buffet style for ~160 guests. We had three entrees: chardonnay-infused chicken, tri-tip au jus carved at the buffet table, and veggie lasagna. Salad, garlic mashed potatoes, grilled veggies, rolls, and soft drinks included.
• Food-related rentals included: silverware, standard gold-rim plates, standard burgundy linen napkins, standard white tablecloths for the buffet, and all glasses and barware.
• Staff included: serving staff, kitchen staff, licensed bartenders, day-of lead.
• Other included fees: alcohol transportation, set-up/breakdown/cleanup time, tax, and gratuity.
• Our caterer was the middleman between us and Classic Party Rentals and La Tavola Linen. So, “catering” cost included rental of 16 60-inch round tables, 2 smaller tables for DJ and sweetheart, 1-2 large tables for the buffet, 160 mahogany folding chairs, some higher-quality guest-table linens, and 12 beanbag chairs. Can lights (for uplighting) were thrown in for free, but I don’t remember why.

All pics by Ashley Forrette and Gem Photo unless otherwise indicated.

Flowers: Amy Burke Designs

Cost: $4,000

• Bridal party and parents: 5 bridesmaid bouquets, 1 bridal bouquet, 12 boutonnieres, 2 pin-on mother corsages, 1 flower girl outfit (fake petals and a little tulle cape for this one).
• For the room: 2 large ceremony arrangements (used also in the reception), 16 centerpieces, and 1 centerpiece-like arrangement for the buffet table.
• Calla lilies, orchids, feathers, branches, and seeded eucalyptus composed the majority of “floral” elements.
• We provided the tall cylindrical vases for the 16 centerpieces. Recycled from Bridesmaid AR’s wedding!
• The only rentals were six vases for bouquets and two vases for the large arrangements.
• Tax and gratuity included.
• Physical labor included: placing centerpieces, moving large arrangements from ceremony mode into reception mode, all pre-event deliveries, and all after-event pickups.

Don’t mind the guy staring at the camera. Hi, Carl.

Venue: The Green Room at the War Memorial Veterans Building

Cost: $3,600

• It being a city-owned venue drove the cost down, by a few thousand in one case, compared to private locales in-city.
• Cost included 7 hours of official “event time” from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m., 3 hours of vendor setup/prep time, 1.5 hours afterward for vendor breakdown/cleanup, use of their built-in speaker system, and ready-rooms for bride and groom.
• There were representatives from the venue present the whole time, and their time was included in the fees.

Photography: Ashley Forrette Photography and Right Angle Images

Cost: $3,000

• Day-of package with Ashley included: unlimited day-of coverage with second shooter, day-after shoot (because we didn’t do an engagement session with her), 10 x 10 leather-bound album in an 11-spread layout, DVDs with all high-res images, DVD with all further-corrected images used in the album, and travel from Portland to the Bay Area.

• Right Angle Images is a pal, which I’ve mentioned throughout. Our engagement session was a jumbo 10-hours with him and Bridesmaid AM as his second shooter. He’s also responsible for the cutouts. He gave us a deep discount and we took them out for one awesome dinner after the shoot.

Right Angle Images

Sometimes you get into a giant birdbath during your engagement shoot. Then, sometimes, you can’t get out of it without help. Pic by Bridesmaid AM.

Alcohol: DIY, via our local BevMo and Central California’s Four Vines Winery

Cost: $2,200

• We bought all our own booze in installments and stockpiled it awkwardly at our house. I drove it to the caterer’s headquarters five days prior so they could deliver it for us.
• Beer: 11 12-packs of Blue Moon and California’s own Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
• Sparkling wine: 1 gifted case of Mumm and 2 cases of Cristalino Cava.
• Red and white: 4 cases of Four Vines’ stainless-steel Naked chardonnay and 4 cases of Maverick zinfandel. Being paranoid about running out (we didn’t, not even close), we padded this with a case of our favorite cheapie red from Trader Joe’s.

Dress and Bridal Bidness: Rin’s Bridal, Zappo’s, Etsy, Misc.

Cost: $1,900

• I bought a sample dress at a sale, haggled for $200 off that price, then paid for major alterations and cleaning/pressing before the wedding. All told, the dress probably came out to ~$1,700.
• Another $200 or so went to shoes, a feather-and-flower fascinator, and a birdcage veil. Bracelet was a present from my MIL, and earrings were something-olds from my mom. Given my halter gown, I opted against a necklace.
• Sidenote: it was somewhat hard to find burgundy shoes that were not satiny or 80s-looking. Thank you, Zappos! (Shoes in the last pic in this post.)

Guest pic

Here are the before pics; I decided not to write about my dress in the planning phase, opting instead to discuss the didn’t-make-its. Here’s what she looked like, way too big and unaltered, in the boutique.

The boutique owner said that dress is often altered into a halter, an easy fix. This was the pic I saw on a Craigslist ad for the boutique, and I knew right away that it was the one for me!

Stationery: Good on Paper Design, Paper Source, FedEx/Kinko’s.

Cost: $1,700

• Good on Paper’s bill includes save-the-dates, 4×9 Paper Source envelopes; three-piece, two-color letterpress invitation suite; 5×7 Paper Source envelopes; and programs.
• We later bought 50 4×4 thank-you cards and sage envelopes, which aren’t included in this estimate. We only bought 50 because, given our registry, many thank-you cards were photos of specific items purchased from Honeyfund.
• GoP was a friendor and gifted her design services for all of the above. We paid for the materials and the printing.
• Misc expenses: 200 stamps; a personalized rubber stamp from Etsy used on the STDs; plus a Kinko’s run to print street-sign table markers, our seating chart, and a comically large welcome sign.

Bridal Party

Cost: $1,600

• Presents for 5 bridesmaids, 5 groomsmen, 2 ushers, friend DJ, and friend officiant. The ladies got an assortment of things they might like (mentioned here), and the gentlemen all got high-end alcohol.
• 8 ties for 5 groomsmen, groom, and 2 ushers.
• Brunch for the bride and 5 bridesmaids the day before the wedding.
• Mani/pedis for 6 ladies, including impromptu floral designs for all of our big toes.
• Two adjoining hotel rooms for 6 ladies the night before the wedding.
• Day-of sandwich fixins, snacks, and mimosas in the hotel room for 6 ladies.
• Day-of brunch for groom, groomsmen, ushers, DJ, and officiant.

What they covered:

• Bridesmaids paid for their dresses/accessories/black shoes.
• Groomsmen, ushers (and groom) wore their own black suits.
• Everyone paid for their own accommodations that weekend, with Friday/bridesmaids as the exception.

King for a day.

Photo Booth: Red Cheese Photo Booth Rentals

Cost: $1,200

• Entertainment, favors, and guestbook filler.
• Included: approximately four hours of operation, a nice, professional operator, set-up and breakdown, and CD (handed to us that night) of all the high-resolution images taken. Doubles for each set of photos printed for the guests. All prints came with a personalized event banner, provided by us and designed in the same style as our save-the-dates.
• We walked away with 150 sets of laugh-out-loud digital images.

Pic by Right Angle Images

Hair and Makeup: Hairtique MeMe and Beauty Mark Ink

Cost: $600

• Hair and makeup for five bridesmaids and a bride.
• Hairtique MeMe was a friendor, and her services were a wedding present. I gave her a Target gift card as thanks, anyway.
• Cost included bridal makeup trial, bridal hair trial, and a touch-up makeup kit.

Wedding Bands: RP Diamond & Gold Imports

Cost: $600

• Two white-gold bands, no embellishments or jewels.

Wedding-Night Suite: Hotel Whitcomb

Cost: $350

The Fred and Ginger suite, photo courtesy of the hotel. I wanted to live here, also, in all its Deco glory.

Cake/Cupcakes: now-closed Sweet Jerene’s

Cost: One comped bridesmaid dress — Bridesmaid JB did double-duty as pastry chef — and one a-mazing steak-and-wine dinner in Napa for me, her, her day-of deputy/chef boyfriend, and Mr. T. Let’s call it $300-400, just for the stuff we bought for them.

Marriage license

Cost: 98 smackers for our license to ill, plus one lunchtime bus ride to City Hall.

Wait, you’re missing some stuff?

Friend DJ and friend officiant were treated like bridal party (see above), and they did not charge us a penny for their services. Services included: emcee duties, laptop-music-wranglin (we created the playlists with his help), the, uh, marrying part, writing the super-short ceremony, and sending the signed marriage license to the city. Day-of coordinator was Bridesmaid AM’s sister thanked in the best way we know how (lots of drinkies and nice food).

No limo or anything? I see nothing about transportation.

Nope. Gals were going to take a cab from the hotel, but we opted to walk the half-mile in our flip-flops instead. I think the guys took BART from our neighborhood to the venue. We had the ceremony and reception in the same place — something that was really important to us — so guest-moving wasn’t an issue, either.

Well, what’s left, other than a dirty dress, your pile of contracts, receipts, and beautiful memories? I’ll write about our near-and-dear tangibles next. Hint: the contracts and receipts didn’t make the cut.

What else happened on the Tacos’ Supreme day?

• The professional album good enough to smell.
• <3 + 1
• Things that went “wrong” and petting the sweaty.
• After the party is the after party.
• Little things from a big day.
• Po-po-po-poker face po-po-poker face.
• Journey should have been at my wedding.
• DIET STARTS MONDAY.
• Wedding peeps make like Gaga and Just Dance.
• The formal-group-portraits thing
• The nice, naughty, and cardboard among us enjoy the photo booth.
• Introduction to the Snot Wall during toasts. Then we commemorate our real love with “Real Love.”
• Led Zeppelin and The Beatles kick off a rockin’ buffet dinner hour.
• Cocktail hour, just-us time with the photographers, and life-size cutouts, you say?
• Ceremony: “comedy hour,” not falling, and a snub-nosed flower girl.
• First look, bridal-party wanders around Civic Center.
• Official start of recaps, as we get ready for showtime with sandwiches and mimosas.
• Best of the Phone Cameras, some of the first pics we actually saw.
• Early lessons learned, two weeks into Mrs.

Part of our photography package — as it is with many — was a leather-bound album of our favorite photos. We sent our 50 pics roughly three months after our wedding day, which everyone tells me is really unusual. I had to; though completely intangible, the digital and mental clutter was driving me freakin’ bananas.

Not that it was easy to review more than 1,000 photos and pick the best 50. Ashley posted some of her own favorites on her blog, so we took some inspiration from her choices. But there was a lot of back and forth over what was album-worthy and why. Sometimes, the task was fuzzy-making and aww-inducing. Other times, it was more like the eye doctor (“Is 1 better or 2? 1? 2? Or are they the same? Definitely 2. NO WAIT, 1.”) In any case, it was awesome to complete and even awesomer to receive it in the mail.

Ashley used most of the pics we chose and, where appropriate for sizing and theme, arranged them into a beautiful 11-spread deal. She often deals with Kiss Wedding Books, and I can see why. They do great work and I love their website, their packaging, and their vibe.

Cute! It came in a sturdy canvas bag. Personal photos.

It smells so good. Like an Italian leather purse.

You can sort of see where the seam is. The book opens flat, though it does that less well when sitting on pillows.

Pretty archival photo paper on thick pages.

Her thoughtful layout was fairly chronological and told a good story of the day. We approved all the Photoshop spreads before she sent them off.

Centerfold; I still think this is a likely framer.

These are some, but not all, of the spreads.

My lenscap is there for scale. It’s 10 x 10 inches when closed.

Ashley video-blogged about the albums issue, since after the summer wedding boom, she spends much of fall and winter working on them. I thought this was a cool breakdown of the books she designs and the companies she works with to print them. For all, she said keeping the layout clean and simple was key to it looking classic 10, 20, 40 years from now.

I guess my main advice is not to stress over having one photo of all the key parts of the day. For example, we don’t have pics in here of our first dance or cake-cutting, simply because we liked other photos better. We have those pics in our hard drive, on DVDs, on our computers, on Weddingbee, and on Facebook. But it just wasn’t that important to have them in the album.

Thanks much to Ashley and Kiss Wedding Books! I’ll continue huffing the album, now (and looking at it, of course).

We’ll talk about that pesky wedding budget next time.

Catch up on our journey from regular to supreme:

• <3 + 1
• Things that went “wrong” and petting the sweaty.
• After the party is the after party.
• Little things from a big day.
• Po-po-po-poker face po-po-poker face.
• Journey should have been at my wedding.
• DIET STARTS MONDAY.
• Wedding peeps make like Gaga and Just Dance.
• The formal-group-portraits thing
• The nice, naughty, and cardboard among us enjoy the photo booth.
• Introduction to the Snot Wall during toasts. Then we commemorate our real love with “Real Love.”
• Led Zeppelin and The Beatles kick off a rockin’ buffet dinner hour.
• Cocktail hour, just-us time with the photographers, and life-size cutouts, you say?
• Ceremony: “comedy hour,” not falling, and a snub-nosed flower girl.
• First look, bridal-party wanders around Civic Center.
• Official start of recaps, as we get ready for showtime with sandwiches and mimosas.
• Best of the Phone Cameras, some of the first pics we actually saw.
• Early lessons learned, two weeks into Mrs.